Today was the graduation day from my university. And today was the day i cry like hell, watching all my friends and my good friends graduating, shaking hands with the vice chancelor, all wearing the suit and hat.... And i watched that over the internet. Why? Because i wasn't there.
I got a diploma from here but it's not the same as others, it's a less important one. I got a graduate diploma and not a B.A. Why? because i had to leave the university in the beginning of the year, and had to do my studies at home, and because too much problems arrived in the same time, i had to stop my studies, exiting with just a graduate diploma.
And seeing my friends walk there, and i can't be here, i can't take pictures with them, and celebrate with them, hurts. In a way i regret i didn't fight more, that i didn't have enough strengh to put up with all the problems i had and that the uni caused to me. In a way i wished i did so i could have been there with them but i know i don't regret those moments i spend after the uni either.
But looking at those friends, hearing one especially on the phone all extatic... it breaks my heart. Because, i wanted to be there, we promised we would graduate together. And now, he will go back to china for some more studies. Me i am too old for that, 26 now, i need to find a job. And i got someone i want to settle with. But i am still sad, not to be with everyone... in Lampeter