I'm crazy, totally crazy I think. I was saying that I didn't want to be with a man again, that I wanted to be alone, but again someone was here to show me that.. I was jsts trying to lie.

I met a guy some month ago, nice guy I was always trying to help and protect, ad finally I was more acting like a mother with him. But I was always thinking to him. When he was talking about his gf, I was asking more, but in my heart, it was hurting to hear him talking about her, but I prefered to hide it and to destroy it. I thought I was like a mother who doesn't want to let her son go far from her.

He was loving me, maybe more than I love him, but just when he told me.. I was happy, amazed, stunned but happy. I don't know the word in english or french to tell him how much I love him, how much I care about him, and how much I want to be forever by his side. I didn't know that I could still find such a kind, lovely sweet and nice man as him. Someone like him who can love me, even ith my bad side, even if I'm not pretty or thin as a model, even if it's a lie, I dun care, it really make happy. If I could hold him in my arms, kiss him nd protect him forever with my broken wings, I would do it until the end of time.

Yann now you can hate me and you have a good reason to, I really found someone farer than you. But I don't regret it. I really like to be with him, to make him smile... I just want to make him smile forever.... I talked to his sir, and even him is saying the same thing and.. I lvoe him, no matter what I love him, I want to shout it... and to tell him while he will be in front of me...

I'm stupid to find someone at the other side of the planet, but after all I had a boyfriend at the other side of my country, and knowing I wanna leave my country, why not. Too bad we can't see eachother as much as we would want, but I wanna try, really. I love him I'm totally addicted, and I just can't do anything, just think to him always.

Ichi <3 Julian I love you

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kjU3gK7ZgWA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=09qBdgqwYJY

Those 2 songs are for you, jsut to tell you how I love you.